Spill it! (I)

I recently started making a weekly plan of action. It consists of tasks to be done every day of the week, a list of which I send to my sister, who makes it a point to check with me daily, about my targets. I figured that as much as I'd like to believe I can monitor myself, I end up cutting myself a lot of slack. So, exercise of some authority seems like a good idea. Gosh, I'm such a sub/bottom.

One of these days when I was done with around 8 things out of 10 for the day, I was like yay, time for a break. And as one does, I disabled the flight mode on my phone, opened Grindr and scrolled through my messages. And there were a quite a few. There was one guy who had messaged me weeks ago: shirtless photos, photos in a tank top, and one in a military print body-hugging shirt. I was like okayyy, yeah, happening. There was an unread message from him:

"Hey man"

I replied: "How's it going?"

"Done with this app now"

"It's full of creeps"

"Let's talk some better place"

Was his response.

I wanted to not work for an hour, so we exchanged numbers. Before I could text him on WhatsApp, he called me, and I was like uhhhh, okay, let's talk. What's the harm. Started with casual chit-chat. Where do you stay, what do you do, are you from Delhi, the like. He studies in Ajmer, and was visiting his bhaiyya-bhabhi for the week and was leaving the city in two days. It was 10:30 in the night when we were on the call, and I knew the plan was not just chit-chatting. And he came to the point without much beating around. 

"What are your fantasies?", he asked.

Being the stupid bitch I am, I was like "Uhh, sexual?". He was kind enough not to throw shade, and replied with a simple "yes". I narrated: love toe-sucking, being bitten around my nipples, collar bone, back of the neck, just above my ass-crack. I could hear a faint moan from the other side. 

"What is the riskiest place you've had sex in?", he continued.

I had to think. Not that there have been many, but one memory stood out. In the second year of college (2012), I was home for the summer vacation. I was pretty discrete then, and it was the age of PlanetRomeo. This guy messaged me, and as sex-starved as I usually am in my home city, even the faintest possibility of touching someone gives me a boner. I said yes to meeting him without a blink, and he came on his motorbike to pick me up from a nearby market. We drove to a part of the city which was still coming up, so a lot of under-constructed shopping malls, apartments and flyovers. I was both scared and excited. And I usually let the latter emotion take control of me in these situations. While we were walking to a mall-in-progress, his hand touched the outline of my dick and I grew hard pretty quickly. In no time we were in a rubble-filled basement, kissing. He did not want to take his clothes off, because the place was pretty dirty. But he did want to put his dick in my asshole without a condom. I did not object to a stranger's dick entering my asshole without protection, and I don't know why. I should have probably let fear take more control.

"Wow, that pretty fucking hot", he said.

"What about you, what's been your riskiest place of sex?", I asked.

"Oh, I did it in a car a few days ago. The guy was like 35 and he wanted me to fuck him, so I did it. I like taking risks during sex. We went to some place near Gurgaon", he replied.

That's nice, I thought. I have also fantasized about doing it in the car, although I have only been able to make out in one. And kind of get very vexed about the logistics of penetration in that space. But it does look quite hot. Especially if you imagine a car in a deserted spot, in a chilly winter night, and you can see a steamy window with someone's skin faintly visible, hands going all over it. 

"Do you like incest?", he asked.

Ohkaay, where did that come from? I tried not to sound too scandalized about the question, because it's not like I have not thought about it. He is one of my uncles. During my summer vacations in school, I often used to visit a cousin in Delhi. I was very fond of him as a kid, and thought of him as my best friend. One day, I was going through one of the family albums at his place, and I came across a photo of his father. Shirtless, in a karate pose. I remember going red in my ears, and warm in my cheeks. Thank god there was no one in the room then. I did not know what to do. It was as if I was doing something forbidden, something very dirty. I took the photo and kissed it. And then put it back. But that photo is still fresh in my memory. My mind conjures it often when I am hard and want to do something about it.

"Oh my god, wow. That's so hot", he commented.

"What about you? Have you thought about it?", I asked.

Not really, he said. Although he mentioned that his bhabhi tried kissing him once. "Did you like it?", I asked. He said no, and he told her to stop and not do it again. She hasn't tried again, but does flirt with him even now, he told me. One of his cousins sucked his dick once, he said. He was a cute boy, but he has not done anything with him since then.

We talked more about how his bhaiyya doesn't know anything, whether I have told my sister about the things I do and whether I have ever seen my sister and her husband doing it. Have I fantasized about my brother-in-law? Not my type, I said. Didi ka type toh hai na, he said. I was like, of course of course! 

And then he asked, "Describe your uncle to me?"

(Contd.)