The Tickle and the Stare
I know, to a certain extent, that
I am not going to meet him again. Is it for good? Or was it stupid of me to
miss the opportunity? One thing is sure, he wanted it and he knew that I
somewhere wanted it too. He knew it. Obviously, if anyone else had been in my
place, then he would have reacted, and reacted vehemently. But this was new,
something completely new! I was
terrified, to be completely honest. I was excited too. I wanted it too. He was
hot, I mean in the rugged sense though. But I don’t know. Maybe he had some
other motive. My heartbeat was running at some speed I didn’t know. The tickle
was the inception. I was aroused at that very moment. My trouser zip would have
burst if he had continued. First, I thought it was just an accident and he had
no intention. But then he stared. Continuously. As if he was waiting for a
reply. Some reply. In some form. Maybe a smile. Some affirmative eye movement.
Something! I was too confused to reply. In any form. I tried looking at him.
You know, from that corner of the eye style. He didn’t see me at that moment.
But as my stop was approaching, he stared. When I was one stop away, I wished
he got down at my stop too, you know, along with me. I waited. My stop came. I
waited. No budging from him. I waited for like 5 seconds more. NO REACTION. I
de-boarded. Ran for the stairs. And rushed out of the station. Scared,
terrified, excited, aroused, reddened.
On the way back home, I was
hoping that he came and stroke my neck (especially the collar-bone) and grabbed
me into some cheap dingy hotel room and violently humped me. Only in-my-dreams.
One thing I definitely learned. When it was the time, I should have grabbed it
irrespective of the consequences. Now that I had let the chance fly away, NO
POINT IMAGINING THE IMPOSSIBLE (‘impossible’ here being defined as that which
could have happened if assent had been given at that point, but didn’t because
of one’s lack of responsiveness!)
But, this was some experience!
P.S.: I want to have sex.
DESPERATELY.; Also, I don’t know how to react if something like this happens
again.
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