Simplicity, I guess.

Doesn't an aerial view of any freaking thing in the world look amazing? A slum looks aesthetic, a game of volleyball (however much pain the players might be going through) looks fun, a city in the night looks like a sea of light, I guess the world looks minute and so so the various complexities associated with it. A city, however much crowded and congested, looks planned in some sort of way. And the mind, well, is invisible and I guess this is the reason why everything looks simple and planned.

You know why I was watching the volleyball game (if you can actually call it a game, I don't know)? Just waiting for the appropriate moment for 'him' to take that shirt off his chest. He's lean, thin but it's nice to see his body bathed in the sweat (today, it would be the rain, I guess), making the graduations in his body even more prominent. The fact that he doesn't flaunt adds so much to the amount of love (?) for him. This music is actually rushing the adrenaline.

I wish I could have said all the things that were being said. I wish I could actually read all what I am scribbling down over here. Sometimes, I think I underrate myself. Why did this fact strike my mind now? I think because I called my writing 'scribbling'. It IS writing. It is nice to read to (at least when I read it at a certain point of time after I have actually written it) and it is, most importantly, a fun activity. Anyway, the thought of it coming out TOO much in the open scared me. And I think it was a good decision too, not to blurt out things known to a confined group of people and which has been inside me for a LONG period of time, just in one go. It is an important decision I have taken and its coming out in the open needs to be performed in a graceful and respectable manner. Now, this is not to imply that the platform provided was devoid of any such attributes, just that those attributes wouldn't have been perceived to be associated to my 'coming out' on such a respectable and graceful platform. 

It was delightful to witness such candour and light-fun-filled atmosphere where the attribute of 'being judgmental' was absent. It might have been there, I don't know but it was more on my part as to not be and at the same time make a conscious effort not to perceive it that I didn't sense it in the green shade and the poetry-filled atmosphere. It seemed like the perfect place to be and be associated with. A place where 'diiference' and 'non-conformity' was being celebrated. A place where you can ACTUALLY see what all you have wished for and imagined. The place where the penis and the butt got the same importance as the vagina and the breasts get in the 'normal'  world. The place where one with the 'normal' oriented person feels out of place, the place where everything is so informal. However, I don't want to go along with the, rather, I am not concerned with the technicality of it all. As in, how you are supposed to wear certain things, where you are required to wear certain 'objects'. I want to conform to the being I am and still be a part of it. Moreover, even if the technical aspect of it assumes so much importance, technically speaking, I am a part of the entire phenomenon. Why the word 'phenomenon' though? I don't know. Isn't it all about asserting your identity? If so (it IS so), then my being so is a conformity to THE belief.

I don't know why but I love coming back to HIM. It's just not getting over anytime soon. Unless, that dickhead finds some thing that he had missed in the past. I guess I will be sad then but, inevitably, I can't do anything about it. It's natural, as my being so is.

Hmm. Now it's better. This theme is actually very apt. Let it play.


I guess I have nothing to write anymore. Maybe, it's the excitement to see it as 'publish(ed) post' that makes me want to end this. Whatever it is, this is the end.